<\/p>\n
\nTherefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n
Rainer Maria Rilke,\u00a0Letters To A Young Poet, Letter #4<\/em><\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
So,\u00a0why? In my case, the impetus\u00a0was a rather typical\u00a0one. One day, life is all colors and music, the other day, life\u00a0is a fucking dark hole sucking in every piece and bit of you\u00a0and leaving behind a solid\u00a0line of red colored shit.\u00a0Dreams, values, plans, formerly held\u00a0together\u00a0in a clear and beautifully shaped crystal ball are lying\u00a0all around,\u00a0shattered into pieces, indistinguishable from the thick layer of dust. Nothing to hold on to, nothing to believe in, nowhere to see nor hear. The sudden darkness of the world numbs your\u00a0senses, all that is\u00a0left is\u00a0bottomless loneliness, confusion, anger, disappointment and blah blah blah, you get the idea.<\/p>\n
The good thing about shit is that it starts to stabilize\u00a0after a month or five. With the passing of time, the original leitmotif of running away from certain memories changed into a purely distilled desire to be alone. No, not to be alone for the sake of being alone, like diving into one’s\u00a0loneliness and continue shedding tears to justify the good feeling about feeling bad and stuff. This was an inexpressible desire to by with myself. I wanted to crunch through a huge portion of a pizza solitudine con mozzarella di bufala and enjoy every single bite of it.<\/p>\n
After few days of research and few weeks waiting\u00a0for visa, I was ready. Well, I not ready in the\u00a0“actually-prepared” kind of sense. I knew nothing about most of the places I was going to see,\u00a0I had tickets only for few main segments of the whole track, as I was supposed to obtain the connecting tickets from random travel agencies along the way. Oh, and\u00a0the thing about having to register your stay in Russia at a local office or police or wherever\u00a0within 72 hours after entering the country? Well, I couldn’t squeeze time for that in my schedule and I was planning\u00a0to improvise (=ignore it and pray). But I was prepared in the metaphorical “yeah-let’s-do-this” kind of sense.<\/p>\n
You know, the\u00a0“oh-shit-oh-shit-the-plane-leaves-so-there-is-no-way-of-not-going-anymore-if-I-don’t-feel-like-wasting-everything-I-did-in-the-past-few-months” kind of sense.<\/p>\n
The plan was pretty much straightforward.\u00a0Flying from Prague to Moscow. And then travel\u00a0through few parts of\u00a0Asia (Russia,\u00a0Mongolia, China, Japan) solely by means of a train or a ship. No friends or traveling partners, that would only ruin the whole experience. I planned few\u00a0stops along the way (namely Irkutsk, Ulan-Bator, Beijing, Shanghai, Osaka, Nagoya, and Tokyo), but didn’t plan much with the intention to slowly fill in\u00a0my\u00a0leather\u00a0notebook I have received from my sister.<\/p>\n
Oh yes, the leather notebook from my sister. I never though that receiving a thing would ever make my cry. Until this moment she is the only person in this world who managed to pull this off and until today I have no idea how did she manage to understand what kind of things was I after.<\/p>\n
Other things I was taking with me were\u00a0a Canon 70D and a 36 years old Zenit-E kindly borrowed from my papa.\u00a0In case you wonder why take two cameras, the first is\u00a0for documentation and the second is\u00a0for taking pictures and occasional self-defense. No, really. I have to always keep the Zenit\u00a0close-by as an occasional bump into a person\u00a0could seriously hurt him or her.\u00a0Mama\u00a0was a proud sponsor of the red backpack (which I won’t go into describing right now as its awesomeness deserves its own\u00a0post).<\/p>\n
Best thing about this whole idea was the\u00a0uncertainty.<\/p>\n
Yeah, exactly the one thing that most people try to desperately avoid – both in work and in personal lives. I craved for new ingredients for the future, unknown, but hopefully better, and more engaging myself. I wanted to see how the brain of a future me copes with all that randomness. The thing is, we perceive our lives as\u00a0stories. Our brains process almost everything into\u00a0stories. We chew through various experiences and connect them\u00a0all into nice arcs that help us\u00a0define a certain meaning or reason to our lives. Let’s not get into details regarding the stories being\u00a0flexible enough to accommodate for our own, ever-changing perceptions of ourselves and helping us improve this or that part of ourselves in the view of others based on the context, enabling us to explain our motives flexibly when we talk about them and try to “make sense” of all that shit that we have done.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I believe this is\u00a0the reason why we tend to say “everything happens for a reason”. We simply find it, create it.\u00a0But until our brains gets the food to process and then crunches through it all, there is either nothing to begin with\u00a0or too much to digest – pure chaos.<\/p>\n
And this was the uncertainty I was hoping for. I\u00a0had\u00a0no idea how things will shape me, how will they\u00a0eventually impact my\u00a0further decisions, and how will I\u00a0connect it all (as that is often possible only in hindsight).<\/p>\n
At this point in my life, just moments before transforming this cute\u00a0little idea into reality, I really had no idea how it all would possibly turn out.<\/p>\n
Oh my.<\/p>\n
I really had no idea at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Therefore, dear Sir, love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. Rainer Maria Rilke,\u00a0Letters To A Young Poet, Letter #4 So,\u00a0why? In my case, the impetus\u00a0was a rather typical\u00a0one. One day, life is all colors and music, the other day, life\u00a0is a fucking dark hole sucking in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":22,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1"}],"version-history":[{"count":20,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1\/revisions\/104"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/22"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.zakomiso.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}